Day 5 - Did I Shine in the Battleground?

Today, I helped out for the Wesak preparation at the Brickfields Buddhist Maha Vihara to accompany my friend. And, although I have done this several times, I was more worried this time, just because I am no longer stepping into a temple, but I was stepping into a battleground. People around me have been living in a world much different from the one that I have just discovered. People who are not of my family. Was I able to shine bright enough there? Will I find this out?

I did many chores, many of which include some form of physical exertion, but some requiring me to just sit down and take in the scene. But one thing was for sure: I was happy there. Because I felt useful. I felt like I actually made a difference there. But was I shining bright enough there? Will I find this out?

It makes me think about the possibility of saving the thousands of people around me. Null? Low? Impossible? Will I find these out?

7 hours of hard labor. When I had 7 more days to change my own life and others' around me.

I want to write down these names so that I won't forget them:

1. Nicole, Sue Sen
2. Yun Fong ( Hope I got the spelling and name right...)

I MISS MY FAMILY SO MUCH. I MISS THOSE WHO LEFT IT, I MISS THOSE WHO ARE JUST NOT IN TOUCH, I MISS THOSE WHO ARE JUST AWAY.

Oh, and can I ask you readers one question? I assume that you don't mind me asking because you actually read everything I wrote until this line. You might have to take your time to answer this question, but I hopefully ask that you answer this question, and answer this question on a serious note. The question that I want to ask is this:

Is it worth getting stabbed on purpose for a friend to be saved and restored to righteousness?

Seriously. Please think about it. And use the tagboard on your right on leave a comment. Thank you.

Day 4 - Small Changes Lead to Bigger Ones

We will shine your light for all to see,
We will be the salt that flavors the earth,
We will be the vessel of the coming king,
For we know that you're the truth, the way and the life.

As containers of the Holy Spirit, we sometimes fail to shine bright enough in this already dimming world. We darken our lamps because we lose hope, and we don't take action. But we must not give up the fight against what I would call future shock. We must not be afraid of change.

So today, I went shopping. Finally...

And to those who think I am a bad shopper, I actually love shopping. If I had the money, I would go on a craze that would put Becky Bloomwood look like the old lady across the street who bought 3 tins of cat food with her credit card. I know that most people can do this, but I just thought that would clear some misconceptions of my lousy wardrobe...

And I invested in a beautiful and comfortable shirt, as well as a pair of pants. Let me tell you something, I have not had a pair of pants for quite some time already. I have cargos, I have jeans (although I was not a jeans fan, not having jeans for almost 6+ years...), I have business pants, but not a pair of ordinary pants. So, another weapon to the arsenal of clothing for self-improvement. Yay me. Oh, and to those who think that shirts are uncomfortable and unbearable, I promise you that after a while, it doesn't itch so much anymore and it becomes your second skin.

And I had discounts. And gift vouchers. So I felt not so guilty with spending all that money... I mean, I wasn't the one paying for it...

That brings us to the next topic at hand:

WORK

is what I require now. I mean, I'm not desperate for money or anything, but I think I should start becoming a little more self-sufficient, a little more independent, and a little less of a burden to my parents. But the one problem with finding a job is finding one that suits my already inflexible time schedule.

For now, a job would mean income. But, it still have to be something I have a passion for because I believe that it is important to love what you're doing. And I don't have a passion for that many things. But most of the time, I enjoy doing anything requiring the usage of my creativity. I actually even thought of writing a book... I even thought of creating handicraft... Until I start thinking about marketing problems... Sigh.

So if you don't have a job for me, I just ask you to do one thing for me. Pray. Pray hard. I thank you with all my heart if you did.

After tonight, I will only have 7 more days to change my life, and to change the life of people around me. But, I have faith that miracles do happen. I have faith that something magical will take place in my life, as well in yours.

7.

Day 3 - Yearn and Learn

Most of you reading this should at least have a parent they rely on at a certain phase of their life. Some of you reading this might have siblings, perhaps a brother or a sister, older or younger. You grow up with these people for at least one third of your life, but there seem to be something strange about these people that you just can't seem to comprehend. Sometimes you ask yourself this: 'Who are these people?' However, most of the time, you are just too caught up with your life to actually sit down and have a very, and I mean VERY, long and hard thinking session on this perspective of life.

Who is your family? Who are your family members? Who is your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, and most importantly, who is your friend? No, seriously.

Think about it. LOOK VERY CLOSELY. Luke 8: 21.

It's hidden somewhere.

~o0O0o~

To succeed

as a team, it requires much more effort compared to if you're working individually. That's because, the team is only as strong as its weakest link. However, when you do succeed, the feeling of achievement is for profound and exalted compared to an individual victory. We need to be in a committed team because that's the reason we have people around us. That's the reason we aren't alone on this planet Earth.

~o0O0o~

Premise 1: Old women walk to exercise.
Premise 2: I walk to exercise.
Conclusion: I am an old women.

DO YOU SEE ANY LOGICAL DEDUCTION WITH THE ABOVE ARGUMENT? I didn't.

To those people who said running had always been better than walking, try googling 'Walking versus Running' and see what you find.

Walking versus Running.

I tell you, Sherene was laughing at me the whole time I talked about it. And I thought our spiritual leaders should be supportive. Bluek.

Day 2 - Exhaustion

I am tired of everything today.

Maybe it's the tiresome and growingly irritant schedule I seem to be having. The one I hate.

But today, I did this:

Click for bigger picture.

In 1 hour.

My second time doing it, I'm so proud of myself.

And when I got home, I bathed and slept. Slept long and hard. Pass my dinner time.

Now, this is what I don't want to be tired off.

Day 1 - Planning for the Unplanned

Today is day 1 of my life changing feat, and mind you it did not go the way I expected it to. Then again, what did I expect to start with? It actually went the way I am surprised with.

It's not how you start a race, it's how you end it.

The beginning of the day was not a very fruitful one, leaving me with more questions and more guilt. But as the day progressed, I discovered not only more of myself, I discovered ideas and concepts of the truth. At the end of the day, I began to surface some of those questions that I have always meditated on in hopes of getting them answered. But, with those questions came unplanned plans of which I am able to utilize.

Suddenly, I start to worry whether I have enough time to actually complete all my plans, instead of initially worrying about how to spend all that unused time.

Train of thoughts:

1. People are afraid to ask difficult questions because they are afraid of the difficult answers they might get. In reality, we aren't fearful of the responses, we are fearful of our reaction to their responses.
2. People say that a listening ear is tough to obtain. In reality, the rarest finding is a person who is willing to spill, to disclose more of themselves because they trust you.
3. Trust is not earned, it is given based on faith.
4. When people lock their doors, we are given the key to unlock it, it is just whether we can overcome our fear of being ridiculed to turn the key.
5. There are things that you don't need to understand for them to work. If you have never heard of gravity, it would still affect you. If you have heard of gravity, but never believed in it, it will still affect you. Why choose to not believe when believing doesn't make you lose anything?
6. Everyone have mountains to climb in their life. Yet, we wonder how some people climb their mountain so much that it has flattened. What happened in their climb that didn't happen in ours? What didn't happen in their climb that happened to ours?
7. Some people say they can't make their relationship based on reward. However, we have to realize that people might provide for us because they are a blessing, not participating in a rewarding relationship. A genuine friend can never be defined by what you can get, but what you can give.

P.S. to Josh and B.O.B.: Kevin has WC and Hamachi on his laptop now...

The Examination Hall

Pastor Rob Thompson: How many of you like school? Raise up your hands.
Me: (Raises up my hand before noticing that no one else actually put theirs up...)
Pastor Rob Thompson: How many of you like exams? Raise up your hands.
Me: (This time looking a little apprehensive, wagging my hands mid-way...)

I love school. I love exams. They seem to be part and parcel of my life. Each time I have holidays (for example, now) I just seem to be more stressed! It just doesn't make sense. Each time people have exams, you can see some sweating, panting over stuff that they should have remembered but forgotten in the exam hall. You can see some indifferent faces, probably pondering on the aftermath of the results. I, on the other hand, experience exams with a state of euphoria and excitement. A little fear, but that is rather ordinary.

3 days have passed in my holiday period, and I can humbly tell you that I did not do anything fruitful, not even for relaxation sake. That leaves me with 11 more days. 11 life changing days. But change comes with choice. Was I ready to make that choice? Was I ready to stand by that choice I have made, regardless of how terrible it could be? It's like that moment where you decide which answer to pick in a multiple choice question. Each time you pick an answer, you always have that tingling senses that tells you that you should have picked another one.

Life is like an examination hall. You might not be able to choose where you sit, but you definitely can choose how to react to the exam, how to react to the questions, and how to react to the tingling senses you already have.

YOUR REACTION DETERMINES HOW YOUR ACTIONS ENACTS AND AFFECTS YOUR LIFE.

But no one said you didn't need to study. Learning is, again, part and parcel of life.

11 days.

11 days to change my life, and to change yours. Watch out.

Good and Evil

God hides in abundance. Take the word 'Good' for example. If you have yet to notice this, you can find God in Good, with an extra 'o'. What does this extra 'o' represent?

1. O represents oxygen in chemical terms, the one substance we cannot live without.
2. O represents one of the human blood type, the one people would label as the universal donor.
3. In economics, O is sometimes used to represent output.
4. In computing terms, pressing Ctrl + O would open a file.
5. O is a symbol for a hug.

The Devil hides in lack. Take the word 'Evil' for instance. If you have yet to notice this, you can find the Devil in Evil if, and only if, you add an additional 'D'. The D represents:

Demand.

Evil flourishes when it is demanded, when it is even unconsciously expressed. Evil knows no boundaries or labels, thus it is almost impossible to even record the degree of evil on an object, person or action. White lies, no matter what, are still lies.

The big problem with life today is not whether we can discern the good from the bad, or vice versa. The bigger problem is whether we can tell what is right, and what is really right. The one paradox of good is that it comes in many forms. Which decision really is the right one?

Sometimes I tell myself this: there will be a time to redeem myself for any bad decisions I make. And after a series of events that seem to be stringed together cohesively, I wonder whether I have already become the one thing I really hated. Then a voice tells me: there is no such thing as the best time to do something. People wait ALL THEIR LIFE for that one perfect moment, and they end up waiting literally forever without any promise of results.

Respect

is one thing the world could always do more with. Respect is the one thing that separates the needy and the needed. One type of person I have never tolerated, never comprehended, and never embraced is the type of person who thinks life is just a mockery of the living.

YOU THINK LIFE IS FUNNY?

Think again. Think really hard this time. And you'll start laughing at yourself for being the greatest idiot on Earth.

I'm sorry, getting so carried away on the winds of impatient creed. Lies hurt, but truth hurts more. For the better.

Planning for Holidays

After the end of tomorrow begins a long stretch of holidays I have never imagined to have. Not that I have anything to complain about, with all the extra time to rest and all, but one thing you have to know about me: I don't go well with holidays. I go well with school, learning, meeting friends. When I am left at home with too much time on my hands, dangerous things start to happen. The usual set-up would be me in front of the computer bumming around, WHICH IS SICKENING AND MADDENING AND I-DON'T-WANT-TO-DO-IT-ACTUALLY-BUT-I-SEEM-TO-HAVE-NO-CHOICE.

So, I'm actually thinking of doing two weeks of ministry work. Not that I have anything else better to do, and I actually need this time close to Godly people if not I am sure to rot and wither in loneliness and misery.

There's a quote from the movie V for Vendetta I would like to share:

V: That's it! See, at first, I thought it was hate too. Hate was all I knew, it built my world, it imprisoned me, taught me how to eat, how to drink, how to breathe. I thought I would die with all the hate in my veins. But then, something happened. It happened to me, just as it happened to you.

At least one person will know what this means.

Malnutrition

I'm still recovering from severe tonsilitis, and my throat is still filled with ulcerations and cuts (where blood seeps out off). I've been living on liquids for about 3 days now. But I'm better, without fever, and reloaded to conquer Malaysia. Except its food.

There is one huge problem with Malaysian food these days: IT IS SO GOOD. But, never were the delicacies designed in such a way that they don't somehow raise your bodily temperature OR catalyze a heat rush OR clog your arteries so fast that you die ten times faster. Sick people in Malaysia don't suffer from the pains of disease. Sick people in Malaysia suffer from not being able to delight in food.

List of Food to Eat When I Fully Recover
1. William's Cheese Naan
2. PBD Wednesday Bazaar's Rendang, Nasi Lemak, Apam Balik, Keropok Lekor and Cendol
3. Ali Maju Thosai Masala
4. Mum's Homemade Pasta/Lasagna/Spaghetti
5. The Subway cookies my sister brought back from Singapore
6. Pagoda (It's a muruku-ish snack I used to binge on)
7. Restoran Gembira Taman Megah Flour Noodles
8. Steamed Chinese Pomphret with Minced Garlic
9. The Yah Chao Kuai Thingy with the Gluttonous Rice in the middle, Freshly Made
10. Any food is fine, really

And guess what? Tomorrow is supposed to be Pizza Day. How can I eat pizza with my not so recovered throat? I hoping for a miracle.

Psychotic Attrition

I WAS SO SICK THIS THREE DAYS AND NOW I FEEL A LITTLE BETTER AND WANT TO ACTUALLY START STUDYING BUT MY NOTES SEEM TO BE HOPELESSLY MISPLACED.

Saturday 8 a.m.
Fever. Brought it down by lunch and was able to go for service.

Saturday 7 p.m.
Healing service by Pastor Steven Goh. I healed my fever AND ONLY my fever.

Saturday 10 p.m.
Fever came again. This time it was really giving me delusions and I was crying out in agony every now and then. My mum took care of me all through the wee hours of the morning.

Sunday 3 a.m.
Fever broke. Feel much better.

Sunday 6 a.m.
Fever attacked again. This time it was seriously mind-numbing. Moaning in pain again.

Sunday 7 a.m.
Couldn't bring the fever down. Went to see the doctor. Apparently I had a very bad case of tonsilitis. I was given medicine for fever/aches, antibiotics, antiseptic lozenges, throat gargle and cough syrup.

Sunday 8 a.m.
Better now.

Sunday 12 p.m.
Fever attacked again. Same bout of seizures and clouded thinking. I vomited but my fever came down after that.

Sunday 6 p.m
Fever attacked yet again. Vomited again. Fever came down again.

Monday 12 a.m.
Better.

Monday 5 a.m.
Fever attacked. Brought it down successfully.

Monday 8 a.m.
Fever attacked. Went to see another doctor. Apparently, my tonsilitis has gotten even worse. If you would see my throat now you would be vomiting too. Got injected on my bum. The doctor gave a stronger dosage of antibiotics and fever medicine.

Monday12 p.m.
Feel much better. The fever attacks are not so intense anymore. But still having headaches and flushes.

Monday 9 p.m.
Blogging, and thinking of how to study for tomorrow.

Now, who took my notes?

Sick

I am so sick now. I just came back from the doctor, and apparently I had tonsil infection. If I knew that my tonsils wa the cause of my fever, I would have healed it yesterday with Pastor Steven Goh. ARGH. Please pray for me.

Why Am I The Luckiest Man Alive

11th April 2007 is definitely the most exhilirating, exciting, unexpected and surprising day I have ever lived in my whole life. This is my story:



I started the day by waking up and retrieving my handphone which was being recharged, and found several SMS flooding my inbox, all wishing me a very happy birthday at 12.02 am when I was apparently asleep. Then I went to college and prepared for the fifth and final quiz for the Introduction to Biopsychology course.

Mae: Happy birthday Min Huei!
Me: Study for Biopsych quiz now...
I AM SUCH A PARTY POOPER!!!

However, I did quite well for the quiz (14/15), so I'm quite happy with myself. During the rest breaks during the class, my friends sang a happy birthday song for me TWICE, turning my face as red as a tomato. Then, Sam gave me a gift:

The World we see is round, but what if, And I mean if, It is as flat as this Gift? Happy Birthday Pal!
from, UNCLE SAM.

OOO, a birthday present. Thank you Sam! Sam happened to give me one of his favourite books, so that means a lot to me. And I happened to be in the season where I can't seem to find any books (around me) to read, so the book came at the right timing. NOT ONLY THAT, I was bombarded by another gift not long after:

Kistna Scented Eau de Toillete from The Body Shop.

This gift was from the rest of the gang. Guess what? I actually wanted to get this for quite some time but I never got down to the One Utama branch of The Body Shop. And since I didn't tell anyone about it, I was surprised that I got what I wished for. Thank you guys (and gals)! Even Sharon went through the trouble to write a simple happy birthday message for me, full with her trademark drawings.

After class, Sam, Jenna, Mae, Julian, Poh Sim, Josh and I went to the Bar B Q Plaza at One Utama for lunch. Evelyn joined us for lunch and Shealin came slightly later. It was the first time I ate at a barbeque outlet in Malaysia (the other time was at Singapore with my cousin). The food wasn't what I would rate excellent, but was surprisingly satisfying and kept me full till 6 p.m., which was pretty unusual for a person who binges a lot. NOT ONLY THAT, everyone actually footed the bill, although I was already prepared to pay a large portion of it. So I thank all of you for the wonderful lunch!

After lunch, all of us stopped at my number one stop in One Utama: MPH Bookstores! Poh Sim got her third Shopaholic book whereas Mae and Shealin 'syok-ed sendiri' over stationary and art-and-craft tools. As I received a sum of money from my mum as a present, I decided to get myself a proper NKJV bible to replace my current one which only contained the New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. I decided to get this:

Nelson's Life and Style Bible, Sandcastle Lagoon.

Finally, a proper bible. After praying for so long for a proper bible, I got what I wished for.

Next, we went to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at GSC. The plot of the movie wasn't the best I have seen, but the graphics was not bad and the whole composition was quite enjoyable. I shall not talk too much about the movie here in case anyone reading this have not seen it yet. After the movie, we went our own ways and I was more than ready to get home to rest after what I would say to be a very surprising day.

After a small detour to deliver something to Sam's aunt, I reached home to find the dining table filled with a tray of crystal glasses and plates of finger foods. As Jenna went to use the toilet, I was left to wonder what the arrangement was for, because I didn't expect my parents to have a party for me, and I didn't expect to have any guests. And I knew that the crystal glasses would only be used if there were guests coming.

Me: What's with all the glasses and food? Who's coming? I didn't know that anyone's coming.
Mum: We're having a birthday party for you.
Me: Is it? But who's coming? No one told me there were people coming!
Insert pause here.
Me: I still don't get it. Who's coming?
Insert pause here.
Me: Who's coming?
Jenna comes back from the toilet.
Me: So, you've finished using the toilet?
Jenna: Yea...
Insert pause here.
Jenna: (Awkwardly) I want to see your room.
Me: (Surprised but nevertheless trying to be a good guest) Oh, these 2 rooms are just store rooms... (Opens the store room...)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
TO FIND AN ENTIRE ROOM FILLED WITH THE FRIENDS WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HOME ALREADY AS WELL AS SOME OF MY CELL GROUP MEMBERS HOLDING A CANDLE-LIT CAKE IN THE DARK!

Wishing for the ability to bless people around me, and see them grow from strength to strength.

OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS.

People with weak hearts like me shouldn't be subjected to so many surprises in one day. Apparently, this was the E12 Cell Group surprise birthday party that I have definitely not expected. Well, I did expect a surprise, but not a surprise of this magnitude! And not a surprise at this moment!

E12 rocks!

They even parked further down the road and hid their shoes from plain sight just to make the surprise more unexpected. And they conspired with my parents to let them in... How naughty... But I love all of you anyway! I was having hot flushes as if I took 2 shots of vodka, it was that bad, or good, depending on how you see it.

And so, I had two birthday cakes for the first time of my life.

Mocha Cake from La Manilla.

The E12 Blueberry Cake.

Then it was present giving time, AGAIN. I got this cool card made by one of my Cell Group members, Jessica who went for National Service, but came back for Easter and secretly worked on this card:

Very abstract-anime design-ish.

All the messages behind the card.

They also gave me this:

...

Wait a minute! Haven't I seen this before?

Deja Vu.

They got me the exact same bible I have just bought! I can hardly believe my eyes. I suddenly thought I prayed too hard. Now I am left to figure out what to do with both bibles. My sister commented that one be used downstairs and another upstairs. LOL. NOT ONLY THAT, I received another card!

The card that Sam apparently forgot to give me earlier.

Okay, too much information. The exaltation I felt left me hanging in the state of euphoria, even until now! I was still flustered and my cheek muscles were already starting to ache.

Everyone eating to their heart's content.

After that, everyone started to dig in to the food and socialize with each other. E12 even prayed for me. Fortunately, I had my chance to bath and rejuvenate. Before that, I had to give an impromptu speech and play the Gu Zheng and the piano. During all those events, I was smiling from ear to ear and was still red in the face. I tell you, my dopamine levels were sky-rocketing. When I look back at the videos, I thought I was quite embarassing, but I guess that's just me being TOO happy. Other than that, Kevin phoned me all the way from Ipoh, and I'm so happy that he actually called!

Ally attempting the Gu Zheng.

The confederate Jenna. She finally saw my room for real.

Sherene, Sher Lynn, Shealin, Poh Sim, Julian, Alison, Jee Mei, Darryl, Wei Wen, Joshua, Hazel, Mae, Li Ching, Genesis, Jenna, Sam and last but not least, a VERY happy me! Sorry if I spelled anyone's name wrongly...

After the surprise party, the night was still young, and most of us retreated to Williams, a famous Mamak located near Lim Kok Wing institute in Taman Mayang, where we enjoyed a fantastic meal of Cheese Naan, Roti Triple H and Ribena Lychee before heading home FOR REAL.

Williams.

I wish to thank everyone who was actually there for me. I wish to thank everyone for their huge and sacrificial contribution of time AND money in the endeavour to surprise me on such an important day, and actually making a noticeable effort in every single event. You have no idea how happy I was (or maybe you can see that from my face). I wish to thank my Cell Group, E12, for being so supportive and going the extra 100 miles for everything. Our birthday surprises are getting so extravagantly amazing I think we're already running out of ammo for ideas. I wish to thank Sherene and Alison for being the spiritual leader I needed. I wish to thank my parents for everything they have done to make me who I am today.

Last, but definitely not the least, I wish to thank God for he have definitely poured out the heavens on me today. And I thank Jesus, for he will always remain, my closest friend.

Today

is a special day. So little time yet so many things to do.

Ministry

Which one to join ar? So many options to choose from, I'm starting to be rambang mata.

I remembered one Saturday when they were having Security recruitment...

Colin: Hey, is he (me) a member yet?
Ally: Yea...
Colin: Finish Firm Foundation yet or not?
Ally: Just finish only.
Colin: Brother, come join the security ministry la (starts pulling me towards the security booth).
Some dude from the Technical crew recruitment: Oi, how can security pull over people and force them to join, uncivilized...

KAKAKA. CHC people are so funneh.

And then I saw an advertisement in the bulletin about recruiting people who can play brass and string and instruments. I can play this:

Does this count as a string instrument?

Okay, maybe not so appopriate in a church setting. KAKAKA.

How about the Worship ministry? Nah, maybe not. It's funny when you have five musical instruments in your house yet not be proficient in at least one of them...

Children Ministry? I don't think I have the patience...

Usher Ministry? Not sure, don't know whether I'm observant enough...

Choir Ministry? Sounds good, but hmmm...

Don't knowla... Help me anyone?

Easter 2007

2000 years ago, one man made a decision that rewrote the stories of a million souls that had lived, is living and will live. One man willingly chose to carry all the brokenness, sins and deaths of men on the cross, despite the fact that He could cry out and send legions of angels to rescue Him from the extremely excruciating crucification. One man made such a big sacrifice although He knew that there is a chance that people might not even acknowledge the gift He gave to men.

His name is Jesus. And He's not a myth, He is the truth the life and the way. And He's not scary at all, if you bother getting to know Him.

Many of us would already know the history of Christ, even if we are not yet believers, as the legitimacy of His story is one of the most debatable topics even in today's time. There is a group of people who firmly knows and believes that it is true. There is another group of people who knows it is true, yet they don't seem to act in such way. Finally, there is a group of people who has yet to know who this great man is. Whichever group you are in, please, I ask you to continue reading.

1. The Suffering

What exactly did Jesus go through, that millions of people call Him their Lord and savior? Let me give you a very (hopefully) mentally and graphically clear illustration.

Do you know of people who seem to go into year-long depression because of rejection from/death of/ignorance by their loved one(s)? Do you know people who are so easily angered that they end up killing themselves along with others? Do you know people who live dark underground lives full of immoral and unethical acts? Do you know of people who are constantly mocked and ridiculed just because they were born with a deformity on their body? Do you know of people who live in guilt throughout their life that they are paralized by their own misery?

Now blend all those together and multiply the combination of feelings with a number equilavent to the number of men who had lived in the past, is living in the present and will be living in the future (which should amount to somewhere near infinity). That was what Jesus experienced. And we haven't even talked about physical tormentation yet.

If you can't imagine the mental overload above, let's try a physical illustration. Remember when we were young, we dropped on the ground and injured our kness, then we would start to cry because of the pain? Now, multiply that feeling of pain with the same number we used above and you should get a pain stimulation and physical injury that killed Jesus.

Jesus did not carry one man's burden on the cross, he carried the burden of an infinite number of men.

2. The Understanding

Why are we in the world we live today? Are we here by chance? Are we here because somehow, simple life emerged a billion years before and through natural-probability selection, humans emerged as a result of evolution? Do we live to die? Do we live just to grow, have a peaceful and abundant life and die of old age? Is there no greater purpose in life?

NO.

Let me present you with an analogy given by Pastor Kevin. If you walk in a shopping mall one day and see coins scattered on the ground, most people would say that someone had dropped the coins accidentally. But if you walked in the same mall the next day and see two nicely arranged stacks of coins, you would have known that someone arranged it, and that the stacks did not arrange themselves by chance or by random selection.

If we are the result of a completely random evolution, why are we so orderly arranged? If you asked me, someone had been doing all this arranging at some point of time. In fact, it requires a bigger amount of faith to believe that we are built in such a way by chance alone. If we are the result of chance, why are we the only creatures on planet Earth that have a strong spiritual hunger in life? We are the only creatures asking this question: What is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is to experience God in preparation for our departure from this world. A great purpose indeed.

3. The Call

We celebrate Easter today to acknowledge Jesus' victory over death. We celebrate Easter to remind ourselves that 2000 years ago, a man rewrote our life that we may be able to bear our burdens, that we may be able to live abundantly if we believe in Him. The reason we prepare magnificient dramas portraying the life of Jesus Christ is to show the world that a man loved us so much that he paid the ultimate price for the ultimate sacrifice.

Some people laugh over the prospects of conversion. They think its a laughing matter. IT ISN'T. Each soul who received Jesus is an additional soul added to heaven and an additional soul removed from hell. No one wants the gates of Hades to win over heaven. Each soul saved takes his or her share of God's infinite grace and love. Each soul saved is an additional sister or brother gained in heaven.

One thing is for sure: God does not force. All of God's greatest gifts comes with choice. Love is the result of the choice to love. If the path of love is the only path to take, it isn't love. The fact that we have to choose to love makes it so precious, so meaningful. Same goes for happiness. Same goes for peace. Same goes for forgiveness.

If you currently do not see youself as a Christian in your entire life, that becoming a Christian is an impossible feat, don't worry, you have the exact same thought most of us had before we accepted Christ. Guess what? Miracle do happen. People who had a taste of God usually want more of it. And before they know it, their entire life is transformed for the better. Just because we know, and we believe that one man died for us.

2000 years ago, one man made a decision that rewrote the stories of a million souls that had lived, is living and will live.

Thank you Jesus!

P.S.: CHC Easter Production 2007 ROXXOR!!!

Win Nee Cheong

4 hours to Easter at CHC, and I'm bored, so I suddenly remembered...

Ms Winnee Cheong

BA (Hons) (Psychology) (Missouri), MA (Human Behavior) (Colorado)
Ms Winnee Cheong was awarded the Pi Gamma Mu (International Social Science Honor Society) Scholarship Award in 1995. She has been listed in the Who's Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges, National Dean's List, All American Scholar, Alpha Chi (Academics Honorary Society), Omicron Delta Kappa (Leadership Honorary Society), as well as Sigma Epsilon Pi (top 10% of the graduating class). Her research focuses on cognitive psychology, with emphasis on memory and its fallibility. Currently, Ms Winnee Cheong serves as a lecturer at HELP Institute.

SHE'S LEAVING US! NO! CRY! GASP! SHRIEK! WHIMPER! YELL! ARGH! &!*%^@(*&%!#$

This is so depressing. Now where else am I going to find a cognitive psychology expert in HELP... Anyone care to plan a surprise party?

Why is Dr. Goh always on the go?

Student: Which elective subjects do we take if we want to minor in something?

Dr. Goh: This is a very good example of see-Linda-and-Ann.

LOL. He used see-Linda-and-Ann as a noun. FUNNEH!

Step of Transparency

I have not posted any new threads in a FULL week. However, today I will reveal something that I have never revealed before, and never dreamt of revealing. I'm going to share with everyone how powerful the paradox of God can be.

Today, as some of you might already know, is Good Friday. I am going to show you how my life has be changed since last year. And this is all truth, no lies, no cover-ups, no selective deposit, no modifications.

October 2006

I call it the 18 Phase, or Early Life Crisis. I know some of you would already know what I am talking about. It is the special phase of transformation that people would go through. I was left depressed, confused and full of guilt.

10 December 2006

Ally invited me over for Thanksgiving service at City Harvest, KL. A night of splendour, glama and extravagantly incredible fashion show with the theme avant-garde. It was then that a strong presence of God washed over me.

11 December 2006

Dear Pastor Kevin,

After experiencing the intensifying Thanksgiving function on the 10th of November, I have some ideas to share with you. You were busy taking photographs after the event though, and instead of disturbing your celebration, I have chosen to write you this letter so you can slowly read and understand my words of hopeful wisdom.

First and foremost, you have to understand that I am not a religious person. No, I am a practicing atheist. Don’t get me wrong; being an atheist will mean that I don’t believe in God, but that doesn’t mean I cannot believe in a certain power that is above us all. The only difference is I do not ‘conform’ to that certain power. However, the reason I write this letter is not to debate on the existence of God, but merely to share a certain something with you. The fact that I do not believe in the church institution makes what I am going to say more worthy.

If there are only 2 groups of people in the world, I would belong to the ‘seeing-is-believing’ group instead of the ‘believing-is-seeing’ group. Whatever I choose to believe is usually due to the factual reasoning of a scientific mind. In layman terms, I am a man of science, not a man of faith. Sometimes I ask myself: how can people devote themselves to the work of something that was never proven to exist? However, during the Thanksgiving event, I have noticed something we share in common: we strongly believe in our beliefs. It is technically not wrong to choose whether you should believe in God or not, but as long as what you believe in stands firm, it will strengthen you.

When my friend, Julian Loh, first told me about you being the pastor, I was honestly in shock and disbelief for a moment. How can such a young-looking man be a determined and dedicated senior pastor? (You look younger than your age, so that’s a compliment.) To me, it just doesn’t make sense. But as the event proceeded, I observed how powerful your (and other people’s) belief in God has an effect on other people. You seriously touched my heart, not by the powers of God (To you in can be put that way, though.) but more of the power of believed beliefs.

Sometimes I feel lost, and when I find myself again, I discovered that the moment of disorientation was due to my disruption of believed beliefs. I occasionally question my beliefs, not because I deny or suspect them of accuracy, but because I always require conformation and security. But one thing is for sure: believing in something that you belief in does make you stronger in person. I don’t understand how this works, but it just seems to happen.

Just recently, I have experienced a very special something called love. Or at least, that is what I think it is. I’m not sure whether it is truly love though. I mean, I have had crushes on others before, so I do know how crushes feel like. But this time, it is different. I had that tug in my heart. That flitter in my stomach. The way I unconsciously treat her. It wasn’t like the way I treat other girls, but it took a long time before having the thought that it might be love. And guess what? Being in love DOES transform a person. I have transformed, and my friends and lecturers can be walking testimonial of that. I was actually blind to all those changes at first, till someone illuminated me about it.

I am not writing to talk about my love life. I just want to tell you what I believe in:

What is God if not love itself?

I believe in the powers of love. And I know love, because the reason of my love was not because of beautiful looks, not because of materialistic views, but because it just happened. And every time I think about love, I realize that love IS God. Love IS that certain power above all.

I find the City Harvest Church to be a very unique church. I compliment you for infusing certain modern elements into the church, which is a very powerful strategy. And that is the result of a brilliant man’s brilliant mind. And the level of believed beliefs during Thanksgiving? Otherworldly. During the whole event, I find myself to be brought back to reality, and that reinforces my belief of love. Your (or perhaps, everyone’s) church actually made me safe. I don’t know why. Don’t get me wrong, I still do not believe in God. It would be unwise and probably unsuccessful to transform me into a Christian. It’s not like I have a ‘thing’ against any religion, but it is just my beliefs. My beliefs do not conflict, but more of run parallel with yours.

I thank you for your time in reading this hopefully inspirational letter. There are many things that I have left to say to you, but it putting too much in a letter is not a wise thing to do. I am planning to visit the City Harvest Church one day soon with Julian and Alison (The emcee for the Thanksgiving event.) because I need to be inspired once more. I need to know the true meaning of love. One thing is for sure, this event will change my life forever, for the better.

With lots of love,

Min Huei

P.S.: I didn’t really like the loud music but I still enjoyed the rest of the night. I was the Stage Manager for my College’s Departmental Ball, and I know how tough it is to coordinate an event of this scale. So, congratulations to you and your whole team for a job much more than well done.

15 December 2006

Dear Min Huei,

First and foremost, I want to thank you for writing to us and truly appreciate all your words of encouragement.

From the email, I gather that you are a semi-atheist because a staunch atheist would not believe in anything at all, whether power from above or those from below (evil forces). From young I knew life meant more than days on earth. I somehow sensed that mankind could not evaporate into oblivion just like that after they die. Thus began my search for meaning in life. I tried religions. You name it, I tried them all yet I never had that peace within me until that day I came in contact with a pastor. I learnt and I realized that Christianity was not a religion but a relationship. A relationship between the creation and his creator! I gave it a try and the rest was history.

Let me give you a simple illustration:

If you walk on the street tomorrow and you find some coins scattered all over the place, your logical reaction would be: It is an accident. Someone might have dropped them.

But if you go and walk on the street the day after and you find 2 stacks of 5 coins on each side, then logic will tell you that someone might have arranged them. You may not know who stacked them but it just cannot be an accident.

Thus, to believe in the Big Bang Theory than a Creator would require more faith and more believe.

Not everything in life is visible. The Bible tells us that God made all things visible with invisible substance. OK… I know you do not believe in God and I am not trying to convert you. But the reality is this. There are many things that we cannot see yet we still believe that they exist. I will come back to this.

Physics tells us that an object can travel so fast that it can appear in 2 places at any one time. In Quantum Physics this is called Super-positioning. IBM is right now actively trying to create this by having a ram so fast that it can process trillions of data at any one or two points. Just try to shake your fingers really fast and you would find yourself having more than just 5 fingers on one hand. If that is what we see, then what we see may not be what it is. And things that we do not see may not mean that they do not exist. By the time we see the stars in the sky (due to the distance) the stars would have exploded or disappeared thousands of years ago. So, the question is does the star still exist or not?

The ability to believe and not-believe is only found in mankind. I would say this is encoded by God into every human being. And it is this that makes us different from other creatures. The desire to know and believe/not-believe in God or anything is so strongly embedded in us because we have a spirit. This spirit within us causes us to search and find meaning in life. This spirit within us creates a longing; it can be for love, for meaning in life or for success in life. But ultimately it is the knowledge of God and the acceptance of Him that would satisfy that desire. You know it but you may not be able to explain it. Just like love. But at times, it is not for us to know why because we are just not capable to understand it. That is when faith and trust become such important elements in our lives. By the way, in the Bible it is written that God is love. And somehow you knew it… love is the closest thing a person can come to in experiencing God. For the entire Bible is about God’s love to His people!

Can I prove it? Well, since I believe in God, I can. For way too many times, God would answer my prayers. His tangible presence is just so real that it is impossible for me to deny its existence. And Jesus, who was born and died on the cross… and then resurrected on the third day! This is not just a good Christian story but an actual historical event. The Romans hated Jesus and if the cross was a fiction, they would have burnt all the facts and documents long time ago. But the reality is people are willing to die for their faith. Why would people die for a fiction? It is either Jesus truly exists or these people are just nuts!

I am glad you wrote. It is always good to hear from another perspective. What I practiced in my church is a result of a very strong foundation embedded within me. To be a relevant Christian is to be the salt and light of this world, to bring flavor and direction into others’ lives – not through by own limited human ability but the power from above that is at work within me.

Have a blessed weekend,

KEVIN and all of us at CHC!

January 2007

I finally accepted Christ. My life changed. All because of one man. One God. One love. Can you feel it too? I am a happier man now, with a strong purpose in life. When I look back at the letter I have sent, I feel quite stupid. One thing is for sure, I have NEVER seen myself accepting Christ, NEVER seen myself believing in God, and NEVER seen myself doing it so fast. The power of God definitely changes the impossible to the possible.

7 April 2007 is Tomorrow,

and I ask you to come for a great Easter production at City Harvest, KL. I hope that you will find or preferably make some time to come to this production, because I promise you, it will BLOW you away. I ask you that you come, at least as a birthday present for me (which is on April 11). Just once, please fulfil my favour.

Click to view a bigger picture.

I want to thank Ally, SHerene and Kevin for everything. Last but not least, I want to thank God for everything, and Jesus my Lord and savior.