You Won't Be Seeing Me Anytime Soon Because...

I'm going to EMERGE 2007 in Singapore!

Ok, bye bye.

Oh, and before I forget anything:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NG AI LI!

Do you like pink?

See you in 4 days time.

And... II

And you have to endure the path of flames continued from the stringent usage of tough and inconsistent adjectives by this fleety author. No apologies, but just a vivid reminder.

Clustering poisonous molecules in your bloodstream seems to choke you with a strange epileptic shock, but left you open and vulnerable, yet untouched. Mysterious signs appear to let you start to think and wonder of how the world is going to surprise you anymore.

And I hold in my hands the sweaty thumbprints of all my friends, of all heroic deeds or late nighters and last minute traction is used to maintain their position at a fair level. Did it work? Most left out many biological points leaving me with insufficiency. Bah. And a reminder required to bring thme on the grim 13th.

INSERT MANIACAL LAUGHTER.

For once the only self in me died to exertion to exhaustion but nothing claims to be a friend of this needy powerpoint, the fraction of a single living nightmare shared by a thousand souls. To be consumed is not the most painful, but you need to understand that everything is done through a certain way, a certain intention, and definitely a certain evaluation of thought.

And...

Everyone thought I was dead.

That's why you are reading a post made by a supposedly-dead friend, one that should have came anytime sooner, but due to who-knows-what, just didn't make the cut.

I don't blame them, I don't blame me, I'm done blaming.

There's no more space for reasonng anyway, no time too. And any spare moment is spent thinking about the delusions of hate and misery, or the flaming wrath of an incompetent student's mouth. Which is good, and bad in the same way. Reasoning it seems, really does not exist within the logic of time.

Snigger.

And each time I stare into a face, I only stare at a mirror, and I see myself standing there like a dummy controlled by a marionette player. Cunning movements of betrayal and confusion, the tragedy.

Fear kills by a single whim. Happiness is required in an infinite amount to even bring back that same amount loss.

Prediction is key.

Day 9 AND 10 AND ALSO 11 - The End of a Beginning

11 days have passed, and everything seems to be a blur, with the events of each day speeding pass us without warning. 11 days ago, I promised to change my life, and the life of the people around me, but as I look back on the days, I can't help but to think whether anything has gone wrong. 11 days aren't just mere challenges, they are visions of the future which lead my life to a greener pasture.

3 days have passed since the emergence of a terrible problem. My house has been experience a strange electrical problem, and the fuse box will emit strange buzzing noises after any electrical alliance is turned on (even the lights). Then, if lady luck is just not on my side, the whole house goes black, and I'm left to crawl around in the darkness, and my attempts to update my blog just vanished into thin air. I am only able to update this now thanks to my mum's laptop which will (obviously) run on battery if any power cut happens.

2 days ago, things just seemed like a dream, like an interval between the main events.

Yesterday, we had Pastor Jeff Marshall preaching a powerful word.

Today, we had the same thing, with the addition of the visitation to pastor's new store: Culture Couture. Again, the word was sharp and relevant. But, the gift of the mustard seed is a greater gift, a gift that might seem to be microscopic, but with enough care, it will grow into something so powerful. The clothing at Culture Couture were impressively drool-able, but the price tags can send most people into an epileptic fit. Must save up for one of those shirts...

Back to the topic. Had I changed? If I had, did I change enough? Have I change others? If I did, have I changed enough people? Only time will tell, for it takes time for a seed to grow. But I will be faithful, for things will happen if we believe that it would, if we are expectant. I only hope that good things, and not bad ones, are formed.

11 days are over. You can't redeem that stolen time. However, this is only the beginning to a great start, or so, I hope so.

Who Turned The Lights Off

SOmething is wrong with my house's electrical circuit, it will suddenly jump fuse now and then, not allowing me to update my blog at all. I'm praying that this problem vanishes soon.

Day 7 PLUS 8 - A Cameronian Crossover

WOW. WOW. WOW.

2 days have passed, and so much has happened. Must as well get started then.

Some of you might have been questioning why I haven't been posting yesterday and the easiest reason would be that I was more than one thousand five hundred kilometres above the sea level. That's right, I was a participant in my cell group's retreat to Cameron Highlands, and the only adjective I can use to describe the whole experience is incredi-extrava-super-ultra-walaowei-magnificent. Although only five of us could make it to this retreat, we overcame the lack of quantity with abundantly intensifying quality.

To those who think I'm on a holiday, I wasn't. This is a retreat.

Holiday (Noun) - A period of cessation from work or one of recreation; vacation.
Retreat (Noun) - A retirement or a period of retirement for religious exercises and meditation.

See the difference yet?

Anyway, we left for Cameron yesterday by bus, and the trip there was insanely long and tiresome and (at times) dark and dank and dizzying. I sat next to Kevin in the bus, and I was and still am glad and exalted that I was blessed with the time to talk, bond and learn more about him. I mean, he was completing his TESOL course in Ipoh so I rarely met him these days. And so we chatted all the way till we reached our destination while the rest attempted to sleep (but failed thanks to our conversation) or stared out the window in boredom.

The bright lights in Tanah Rata completely restored my energy the way a Morning Glory opens up in the morning. We then had a simple but satisfying Chinese sit-down dinner for the first time ever together, after which we bought our breakfast supplies and headed to the hotel. We stayed at the Equatorial Hotel at the peak of Cameron, which was where I stayed at during my previous trip here with my family. Our room had a fantastic view, although the only thing you could see at night is total darkness with rare sights of minute cars moving far below as well as the stars up in the skies above. We also had a bonding session among all members before we jumped into bed, and I am so happy that I was able to know each of them better, and they know more of me in transparency.

Devotions

is something new to me. But it is something very exciting, very inspiring, and very revelational. We had our first session late at night in our rooms due to security factors, and I had a very distraught and distracting first episode. Fortunately, the next day, when we had our second session on the mountainside surrounded by lush flora and irritating fauna a.k.a. mozzies. This time, there were no distractions, and I received more powerful messages in the middle of nowhere (Including the amazing and unexpected birth of pastor's son Ethan!!!!!). There is something I want to share with everyone:

When I asked God why we are given challenges and difficulties, I got a voice telling me this:

'But you had fun, didn't you?'

Whoa.

I didn't get the conventional 'Because it makes you stronger' or 'Because that is the thing that spices your life'. Instead, I got the:

'But you had fun, didn't you?' (Deja Vu.)

After checking out of the hotel, we shuttled back to Tanah Rata for lunch. We ate lunch at T-Cafe, which served impressive homemade food in a completely homemade setting. The desserts however (Cream Scone, Chocolate Cake and Apple Pie), did not satisfy my sweet tooth. Since most of us were still hungry, we went to eat fantastic pancakes with ice-cream at a stall owned by a dumb (as in 'cannot talk' not 'stupid') couple. The pancakes completely owned Paddingtons pancakes or even A&W waffles with ice-cream.

Then we had to send Kevin off because he was travelling straight to Ipoh and we'd be on different buses. Depressing.

On our way back, Hazel had a stomach ache, and we had to stop the bus for her to use the nearest bathroom. The bus driver would have drove off if Alison did not start shouting at the driver, begging him to wait for them running up the hill. I felt really guilty for not doing anything. STUNNED. I mean, they could have been left there! Thankfully, they boarded the bus safely. I really thank God for that.

We got back and ate at Williams. Hazel's chicken chop was like 2 times bigger than Ally's. Maybe there was a face problem somewhere. KAKA. We then went our separate ways towards home sweet home to rest, and to keep and treasure all those memories and wisdom we acquired in a distant place from home.

It's not about the ways in which you can serve, it's about the ways you sacrificially choose to commit your life to Him.

Day 6 - Backsliding

Going backwards.

Not good.

But I learned something.

Each step you take backwards gives you more space to move forward.