Being Best

The life of a perfectionist can be far from being perfect. In fact, perfectionists tend to life a trying to fix all the mistakes in their life, trying to make their world seem idealistic. It is often that a realist or even the real world itself can bring a perfectionist down to the ground, literally, and other realists would just trample over them, without a pinch of empathic misery. I'm not just talking about myself; there are millions of people who had gotten overrunned at least once in their lifetime, and it isn't exactly their fault to be honest.

I used to know what being academically best is like: the warm fuzzy admiration by others when the world seem to suddenly pause for eternity. Then emptiness. People walk away from you and continue their lifes, as if you were just another temporary pitstop, then you stand alone, asking yourself, "What is the meaning of life?".

If you asked me whether I had a best friend before, I would answer this.

"No."

A sad answer I would say, but I have never had a best friend I could trust all my secrets with, a best friend I could find to share my problems, a best friend to celebrate the moments of joy with, a best friend who would cry with you during your darkest hours, changing those moments into the best moments of your life.

Never.

I used to treat friends like strangers, not caring for them, not caring for the possibility that they might die anytime soon. Of course, it just isn't nice to even think them as dead, but you know what I mean. I used to think I knew who my friends were, and how they were like. Yet, I failed to prove that right, as they usually would surprise me more then I can surprise them. I envy those who walk together on a same road, sharing their lifes as if they were one.

I have changed though. I know can't live without friends. When I get home from college, the only thing I would do is to sit in front of the computer, patiently waiting to talk with a selected few I consider myself dedicated to. Sometimes, I get what I waited for: company. Sometimes, I just get the same silence again.

Don't let me go through it again.

Would you be my best friend?