Emotional Rollercoaster and Lots of Other Crap

I absolutely hate taking rollercoasters. People used to tell me I didn't have the guts to go on one, and I'll just tell them that they might be right. I think I'm just afraid of all the dives, drops and corkscrews. I'm afraid of being afraid. There is one thing that I am more afraid off: being angered.

I wish I never had this pent up anger in me. Who doesn't? I hate what it can do to me, making me get out of control, making me look like a lunatic, making me scream at my loved ones. I know the reality behind anger. I know it is like acid in the vat. I know it hurts me the longer I have it in me. But I just can't seem to let go. I don't know what unfinished business I may be waiting to resolve. I hope it comes fast. I just cannot stand it anymore.

Plus, what a bad impression I am puting on God. I am so terrible.

~o0O0o~

I feel the need to apologize to so many people.

Sorry to Alison Tee, for not replying your message. I guess I was afraid. Afraid of responsibility. It's like when small boys don't admit that they broke the bowl because they were afraid of repercussions. I feel so immature sometimes. So contradictory.

Sorry to Kevin Lee. Ditto above.

So sorry to God. And I keep saying that I will never take the saving Grace so easily. I am such a bad person. ARGH.

~o0O0o~

Okay, feel much better now. Today's mid-term papers were acceptable. As usual, I think I won't be doing as well for Leadership and Life Skills (a Study Skills type paper). But I think I will do quite well in my Introduction to Social and Health Psychology. Sorry to those who I had annoyed during pre-examination study sessions. I was just being me...

I really hope Sam and Ally gets better. They weren't feeling well today.

I'm still hoping that Ju will pass his PHD in drummorology examination.

Hope that everyone does well in their mid-terms.

I'm so jealous of people like Mellissa and Michael who gets all the interesting subjects like Philosophy, Graffitti (Crimonology) and Practical Issues in Science. Unfair leh. All I get is stupid boring LLS. Okay la, not stupid but definitely boring. Feeling quite glad that I have Cheong Win Nee though.

~o0O0o~

I really wish people would take me more seriously.

Each time I say stuff like, "I think I need to grow up" or "I think I must start being more dilligent" or perhaps "It is time for me to make some positive changes", they would just stare at me like I was crazy and go, "Hey, have you heard about the...", changing the subject.

I seriously want some changes in my life. I want the bad to go away. I want the good to be developed. And I need some help.

I have had enough criticism in life.

~o0O0o~

Enough rambling for today. I hope tomorrow would be a better day.

BTW, does anyone know the postage required for an A4 size envelop to Melbourne? Please leave reply!