10 Reasons Why I Am So Dead

I am so dead, and you might be wondering why. Well, this are the top 10 reasons why I (and not other people) am so dead.

10. I have 2 LAN exams this Saturday, and I am without any textbooks. Fortunately, I only need 4.5 marks to pass Moral, but I think I need around 20 marks to pass Malaysian. I am so freakin' gonna repeat this whole thing, and Miss Sue will be so bored of me she will turn into a living skeleton in class. In front of her students. And Miss Yeo said the stress that builds up during pre-exam sessions are very dangerous killers.

9. Instead of actually making effort to study (like perhaps, Josh who slept when he was looking into Malaccan history), I am writing in my blog. There goes my passes in LAN. And then I will start to blame the teachers for my not being able to pass and they will scold me and I will scold them back and I will be quite dead then lor... A vicious cycle indeed.

8. I binge. Frequently. Reports say that people who binge are the future obese youths of tomorrow. And when I am obese, I die earlier due to not being able to lug around the huge slab of 'lipo'. I am so dead with my ever-increasing BMI ratio. And the history of diabetics in my family isn't helping too. And when I need to start sticking needles of insulin into my arm every day, I will one day get tired of it and stick it into my eyes instead. It is that bad...

7. I wear glasses. Reports show that people who rely on glasses will one day pick up a bottle of Hydrogen Cyanide instead of the occasional Black Label and die a painful death. Or perhaps, they will accidentally fall down the Grand Canyon during one of the great escapades down it due to a mis-step.

6. I think I am a computer addict. Reports show that computer addicts will die with their shrunken eyeballs glued to the computer screen (literally) and their brains overflowing with adrenaline and 'addictalin'. And I planned to donate my organs to others when I die; how can I donate my eyes then?

5. Everyday, I inhale tons of dangerous metal ions and oxides. I will die with my insides rusting, believe me.

4. I feel insecure. People who feel insecure technically will end up like the antagonist in Moulin Rouge. I will start killing people to make myself feel better and I will be all alone again... MISERY!!!

3. I don't lead a proper social lifestyle. Every possible day, I am stuck at home dreaming of the people I used to spend time with in the halls of HELP. Yet I don't make effort in calling them. I am so selfish. I will die with everyone at the burial going, 'Min Huei who?' or, 'Serves him right, muahahahahahahahaha!'.

2. I don't exercise. I am like a walking piece of bones and fat. I feel unfit. I look unfit. That's bad for my perceiving self. And I will be forced to take weird drugs and die of overprescription...

And the number 1 reason why I am so dead?

1. I am in love. And not just an ordinary relationship. She doesn't know a thing, but I can't tell her aything yet because it just isn't right. And everyday the pain just builds up. I cry myself to sleep. Why does this kind of thing happen to me? WHY?

I AM SO DEAD!